Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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