He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
