She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
