Walk of Shame today included voting.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
