is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
