Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
