he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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