She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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