Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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