I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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