I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
