She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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