The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
