new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
