I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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