I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
