Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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