Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
