I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Your cock deserves a montage
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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