Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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