i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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