So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Barsexuality is the new black.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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