I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
