You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
