I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
