no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
