She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
