Its about making memories worth repressing
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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