i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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