hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
