Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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