wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
