I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
