I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
it glows. i had to have it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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