Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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