if you like me you must not know who I am
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize