How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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