just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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