Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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