Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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