Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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