do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The power of my boobs compel you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
