Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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