Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
