yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
