I want to stick my p in your. b.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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