I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
