first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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