The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I FOUND THE LEGS
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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