I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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