awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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