I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im holly from the hills drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
