he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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