ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
