the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
