Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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