Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize