i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
