margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
