WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
